Aishe News

Gather 'round for the greatest diplomatic show on Earth! Remember the Abraham Accords? That's Trump's Middle East peace plan that actually worked – which shocked everyone more than finding out that camel milk chocolate is actually delicious. The Abraham Accords: Middle East Peace-Making for Dummies Picture this: Trump returning to the White House, strutting around like a peacock with a real estate license, pointing at the Abraham Accords and saying, "See? See what I did there? Nobody thought peace in the Middle East was possible, but I did it. I did it better than anyone. Some say better than Abraham himself!" ( Note: No one actually said this, but why let facts get in the way of a good boast?) Now, as Trump gears up for his sequel – let's call it "Middle East Peace 2: Electric Boogaloo" – he's eyeing Saudi Arabia like a businessman spotting an empty lot in Manhattan. The Saudis are playing hard to get, which is basically the diplomatic equiva...

The world's longest-running geopolitical drama: "Keeping Up with the Kims!" While Trump was busy on the campaign trail talking about, well, Trump (shocking, I know), our favorite hermit kingdom has been quietly planning season 2024 of their hit series "How to Get Attention Without Starting World War III." North Korea: The Reality Show Nobody Asked For, But Can't Stop Watching You see, North Korea is like that friend who posts cryptic social media updates when they're feeling ignored. Except instead of vague Facebook statuses, they launch missiles. It's their way of saying "Hey, remember us? We're still here! And look what we can do!" It's basically international relations meets toddler show-and-tell, but with nuclear warheads. Remember 2017? When Trump went all "fire and fury" on Kim Jong Un? That was like watching two reality TV stars trying to out-drama each other. Trump was giving us his best "You're fire...

Return of the Wall: This Time It's Personal Grab your hard hats and your Trump-branded taco bowls, because The Wall is getting a sequel! That's right, like "Fast and Furious" but with more concrete and fewer car chases. Trump and his potential VP pick JD Vance are basically the Batman and Robin of border security, except instead of fighting crime in Gotham, they're determined to turn the US-Mexico border into the world's longest home improvement project. The Great Wall of Trump 2.0: Now With Extra Spice! The Military Solution: Because Why Not Add Some Tanks to Taco Tuesday? Trump and Vance have suggested sending the US military into Mexico, because apparently, they've mistaken cartel documentaries on Netflix for invasion planning guides. Picture it: US troops rolling into Mexico, only to find themselves stuck in traffic behind a convoy of spring break tourists heading to Cancún. "Sir, we've located the target!" "Is it the cartel?...

The Party's Over, Folks! Remember that lovely "holiday from history" after the Cold War? You know, that magical time when America's biggest foreign policy concern was deciding which countries to invite to our democracy-spreading parties? Well, guess what? The vacation's over, the hotel bill is due, and reality is banging on our door like an angry neighbor complaining about our decades-long karaoke session of "We Are The World." The Great Geopolitical Hangover: America's Holiday from History is Over (And Boy, Does Our Head Hurt) Welcome to the Global Drama Club The world has entered what experts call a "period of protracted systemic instability," which is fancy-speak for "everything's gone bonkers." It's like someone took the global Jenga tower we've been carefully building since 1991 and decided to play it in a hurricane. On a boat. During an earthquake. The New Reality Show: "Keeping Up With The Global Powers...

Gather 'round for the most entertaining diplomatic circus you'll ever witness! Picture this: two nations, both with leaders who have more gold-plated furniture than your average royal palace, trying to navigate international relations like two peacocks at a disco party. The Greatest Show on Earth: US-Turkey Relations in the Trump Era 2.0 Remember when Trump and Erdogan were playing diplomatic ping-pong during the first term? Oh boy, what a show! They were exchanging sanctions and tweets like teenagers exchange emojis. Trump would wake up at 3 AM, tweet something like "I'LL DESTROY YOUR ECONOMY!" and Erdogan would probably spill his Turkish coffee all over his smartphone. It was basically international relations meets reality TV, minus the Kardashians (thank heavens for small mercies). Now, as we gear up for Trump: The Sequel ( working title: "Make Alliances Confusing Again"), everyone in Turkey is oddly optimistic. Why? Because apparently, when you...

Ah, the European Union! That lovely collection of countries who decided that the best way to stop fighting each other was to create enough paperwork to make war seem like the easier option. Well, folks, they're about to face their biggest bureaucratic challenge yet: Trump 2.0 - This Time It's Personal(ity Politics). The European Union's Guide to Surviving Your Difficult American Uncle Picture this: You know that uncle who shows up at family reunions, criticizes everyone's life choices, demands they pay for their own meals, and then complains about nobody visiting him enough? That's about to be America's foreign policy toward Europe. The EU is frantically googling "How to deal with difficult relatives" as we speak. The US-EU relationship is about to become less "strategic partnership" and more "it's complicated" Facebook status. Gone are the days of cozy chats about shared values and mutual understanding. Now it's going ...