Aishe News

How to Make Friends and Influence Semiconductors Welcome to "The Art of the Taiwan Deal," where international relations meet garage sale negotiating tactics! Watch as the master dealmaker himself approaches one of America's most important partnerships with all the subtlety of a used car salesman at month's end. The Art of the Taiwan Deal: A Guide to Complicated Friendships The Friendship Price List Under new management, US-Taiwan relations are getting a complete makeover! No more of this "enduring partnership" nonsense – we're switching to a pay-as-you-go model. Think of it like a friendship vending machine: insert the right amount of concessions, and out pops some American support! Current Friendship Rates: Basic Alliance Package: $99.99/month Premium Defense Bundle: Price upon request Deluxe "We've Got Your Back" Package: If you have to ask, you can't afford it Emergency Support: Surge pricing applies "Best Friends For...

A Reality Show Nobody Asked For Episode 1: "Democracy - Now With Terms & Conditions!" Welcome to the most exciting show in international relations! Watch as America's favorite real estate mogul turned political impressario reimagines global democracy promotion as a limited-time offer with more fine print than a pharmaceutical commercial. Democracy Promotion: America's Next Top Political System "Democracy is like a gym membership," Trump might say. "Sure, everyone can sign up, but we're really only interested in the premium members who use our equipment and buy the protein shakes." The New Democracy Menu: Now À La Carte! Gone are the days of the all-you-can-eat democracy buffet! Under new management, we're switching to an exclusive à la carte menu where countries can order exactly what they want... as long as it's exactly what we're selling: Starter Package: Basic voting rights (seasonal availability) Economy-class regul...