How to Make Friends and Influence Semiconductors Welcome to "The Art of the Taiwan Deal," where international relations meet garage sale negotiating tactics! Watch as the master dealmaker himself approaches one of America's most important partnerships with all the subtlety of a used car salesman at month's end. The Art of the Taiwan Deal: A Guide to Complicated Friendships The Friendship Price List Under new management, US-Taiwan relations are getting a complete makeover! No more of this "enduring partnership" nonsense – we're switching to a pay-as-you-go model. Think of it like a friendship vending machine: insert the right amount of concessions, and out pops some American support! Current Friendship Rates: Basic Alliance Package: $99.99/month Premium Defense Bundle: Price upon request Deluxe "We've Got Your Back" Package: If you have to ask, you can't afford it Emergency Support: Surge pricing applies "Best Friends For...