Aishe News

The Ex Who Won't Go Away Welcome to America's most dramatic reality show: "The Energy Bachelor!" Watch as our contestant, Donald Trump, tries to rekindle his passionate romance with his old flame, Fossil Fuels, while ghosting his recent green energy matches from the dating app "Carbon-Free Cupid." America's Energy Dating Game: A Love Story Gone Nuclear "Oil and gas are my soulmates," Trump was heard saying at a campaign rally. "We had such beautiful times together during my first term. Such tremendous chemistry. Nobody understands chemistry better than me, believe me!" The Paris Agreement: It's Not You, It's Me (Actually, It's Definitely You) Remember when America broke up with the Paris Agreement? Well, get ready for Season 2 of "International Breakup Drama." It's like that friend who keeps getting back together with their ex only to break up again. At this point, the Paris Agreement should just chan...

Featuring Donald Trump as the Ringmaster Act 1: The Greatest Scam on Earth™ Ladies and gentlemen, step right up to witness the most spectacular show of our time! Watch in amazement as the Green New Deal gets transformed into the "Greatest Scam in History" – which, considering the existence of pet rocks and crypto currencies, is quite an achievement! The Amazing Climate Change Circus: A Comedy in Several Acts Our ringmaster has a simple solution to climate change: just pretend it's not happening! It's like dealing with your mounting credit card debt by throwing away the bills. Problem solved! Who needs polar ice caps anyway? They're just taking up valuable real estate that could be used for luxury golf courses. Act 2: The Magical Mathematics of Climate Denial Every three weeks, climate disasters create one billion dollars of damage. But fear not! According to our creative accounting department, if we stop measuring the damage, it technically doesn't exist....